JUST A GIRL
For the longest time, she felt different and it wasn`t a comfortable type of `different`. It felt like she was always the ugly duckling. There wasn`t a particular place where she felt like she belonged.
“Why are you like that huh?” people would always ask and it ticked her off but she didn`t have the guts to look up and answer back. The question was always asked because she always kept to herself, quiet and isolated. However, this was her only solace, the only way she could protect herself from the cruel world. She didn`t have the `perfect` physique as other girls her age. She had countless insecurities, and whenever she walked by, it felt like everyone was judging her. It was a heavy burden for such a young girl to carry.
Growing up, she was a `sick` child, always in and out of the hospital. If a month went by without falling ill, there were celebrations. But it had already become part of who she was. She wasn`t very eloquent, that`s why she never talked much. She didn`t have a `perfect` smile and that`s why smiling was a foreign language to her. However, there was one thing she could not hide from or avoid; time.
She couldn`t remain a little girl forever, and she grew up. But, instead of life getting easier, waking up every day, became her worst nightmare. Her primary school years were tough; then she went to high school hoping it would get better, but it never did. But she survived it though because beneath all that hurt and pain, was a strong girl with a fighter spirit, even if it took time before she could realize it.
And the time came when she was finally going to face the world, alone (the mere thought of it scared the life out of her), but she didn`t have a choice. With her heart in her hands, she decided to take the chance and start living. One day at a time, and gradually she caught the hang of it.
She was just a girl with a beautiful heart, an amazing soul but with a very naive mentality. The world she stepped into was dark, broken and lost. She felt that it was only right to try and heal those around her. She gave so much love, and this only led her to attract broken people who needed healing. She gave out love, support, care, concern without holding anything back. Her shoulder was always available for people to lean on.
She was just a girl who cared too much about people and forgot that she was human too. You can only give out as much love as you have and you can`t pour from an empty cup. It hit her hard when she was broken, needed love, care, and some attention but nobody was there for her.
It was a rude awakening but she never lost faith in humanity. The ability to heal and put herself back together was impeccable. And she continued to give out love.
But it got to a point where she could no longer give out love. She got weary. She no longer had the strength to heal broken people, because she was broken too.
She was just a girl, too naive to understand that not all broken people deserved her healing. That instead of healing them, they broke her too.
She was just a girl, who believed so much in love that she looked for it in all the wrong places. A girl who believed in people too much that it blinded her from seeing broken people, for who they really were.