TO THE GIRL WHO LOST HERSELF WHILE LOVING HIM
Have you ever loved someone so bad and so intensely, that it made you blind? Love is a beautiful thing and I can tell you that for sure, but it turns ugly when you lose you, in the process of loving another.
I am the kind of girl who`s a fool for love. When I fall, I fall hard, deep and it`s intense. I give it my all and everything seems right as long as I do it in the name of `love. And it`s alright to love but don`t lose your identity trying to fit into what someone else wants or prefers.
I once loved someone so bad that I thought my life would stop if they ever left me. I loved the person with all of me, with my soul. But there was a problem when I looked in the mirror, I could no longer recognize the face staring right back at me. I became a stranger to myself and I didn`t like what I saw in the mirror one bit. It`s crazy how a situation gets worse but you still stay waiting for it to `change` but it never does.
Then one day I sat down and realized that my life was spinning out of control. I had to do something or else I would become a shadow of myself. I would start telling stories of how I was and what I would have become. The mere thought of that scared the life out me. I had dreams to chase, I had my own identity, I had my own values and I had to take back my power. And so I did.
If loving someone makes you feel like you are less of a person, then it`s never worth losing yourself. Someone who only sees your flaws does not deserve you giving up your identity just to please them.
It was after I took my identity and power back that I realized, what I thought was love was actually slavery, dependence on someone else. I had given too much that I didn`t have anything else to give. I trusted too much that doing something on my own always felt like it was wrong. Second guessing myself became my identity. The joy I felt around him, turned into fear. The fear of being criticized, looked down on and being made to feel like a worthless human being.
Love is a beautiful thing and a beautiful thing only enhances you, makes you a better person and not the other way around.
Yes, you love, adore and treasure them, but tell me when you look in the mirror, are you proud of the person staring back at you? Is the girl you are now the girl you were before you met him? Are your goals and dreams still intact or have you forgot that you ever had dreams?
It`s alright to love, but it`s a crime to lose yourself while loving someone else.